Use me!

Where have I been?! I am so sorry that I have not updated in a while. It is safe to say that I have had so much happen in the past few months that finding the time to sit down and put it all into words is a miracle. I finally and officially feel like a first grade teacher. Took long enough, huh? I want to open my classroom up to you and hope to inspire you to go out there and change the world. Don’t know where to start? Find a teacher, find a classroom, and give your time, knowledge, and heart. Think about if every single person that read this volunteered just 15 minutes of their time. That’s one seriously amazing idea.

I always seem to find the time to blog when I am 30,000 feet above. That’s right, I am taking another long plane ride. This is actually starting to become pretty familiar. This trip was unexpected, and while I caught a last minute flight to celebrate and honor an amazing person’s journey on Earth, it got me thinking. I have always felt like I am here to serve. I remember saying my prayers when I was little and always ending it by saying “Use me!” So here I am, miles away from home, being a teacher and caretaker to a group of amazing children. I can honestly say that this experience is nothing like I expected. I pictured a torn apart building where I stood in front of children who were hungry and needed so much more love than they were given. I pictured myself being the soft-spoken “mother” who gave them everything they needed. Instead, I spend my nights researching the behavior of my children and read a few articles on parenting. How do you respond to a defiant child, a young boy who cannot regulate emotions or anger, a child who gets upset and runs away, a child who falls into a deep sleep out of nowhere? How do you restrain a child? This is what I do, and this is what I love, My one wish: I wish that I could spend more one-on-one time with my children. I want to figure them out, but I always have to remind myself that they all need my attention at all times, period.

I have been drained and exhausted many days, but inspired and proud at the same time. We are starting to test one of my students for an emotional disability. Sitting in a meeting and informing a parent that there is concern is so disheartening. I felt terrible and all I could say was “I promise you we are going to figure this out, and your son will receive an excellent education.”

Another parent pulled me aside after school with tears in her eyes and asked “Miss Abney, how do you make someone trust you again?” This was a moment I will never forget. I expect my students to come to me needing help and advice. But, getting that from a parent put me on cloud nine. That is why I am here. I want to go beyond the classroom and help the families. Think about it, if you help the parents, it will cycle back to the children. Now your problem has been addressed from the core and will carry on. Funny how that works. Teachers cannot forget that the children’s lives do not end when the bell rings. The world keeps turning and the impact still needs to be made.

I have a child who was placed into foster care, and the effects have scared me every day. I watch as he begins to stop trusting everyone. He has become so disrespectful towards adults and it saddens me. I understand why he thinks that adults are liars, that’s all he knows right now. I pulled him aside one day and he looked at me and said “I pray for my mom every night that she will become a better mom.” That pulled at my heart so much and I sat there, wanting to say so much, but knowing that I couldn’t!

Every day in my class is so different. I love that about my job. No day is ever the same. You never know the amount of love you can have for over 20 kids at one time, until you become a teacher.

All my love from another plane,

Jacey xxo