First Grade Wonders

August 31, 2012

Believe it or not, I am alive! I have officially been a first grade teacher for 24 days and they have been challenging and heart-warming at the same time. I have so much that I want to write about, not only to share these uplifting stories, but so that I don’t ever forget a second with these amazing six year old wonders. Warning: things are about to get real.

There is so much I want to share! From stories to lesson plans to pictures. Where to begin? I guess I’ll start with the best part- the kids. They are hands-down some of the greatest human beings I have ever met. I have such distinct personalities in my room. --personalities that challenge me and inspire me every day. On day two of teaching, I already had to experience suspension of my student. This student is so intelligent and loving with the biggest, brightest smile. When he works, he works hard and desires my approval. I love seeing him challenge himself and think outside of the box, but it breaks my heart when I turn around and see his eyes filled with anger and know that he is not the same student he was one second ago. I watch him as he throws my things around the room, rearranges my furniture, and erases everything I try to write on the board. I watch because I know that his rage can’t be interrupted. I can honestly say that it devastates me. I don’t care about the extra time I know I have to spend cleaning up my room.. I don’t care about the fact that he is disrespecting me. I care that he’s not learning and I care about the other 22 students that say their feelings are hurt with extreme frustration taking over their expressions. It is a challenging for one reason: because I want to be the one who can figure him out, and I’m worried I won’t be able to. Just yesterday, he received his 11^th suspension.. I watched as his parents looked helpless and it made me feel like the smallest person in the world. I am not here to babysit, but I am here to make sure that every one of my students receives an excellent education. He is my student, and I will not let him down. His mother didn’t receive and education and that’s all she wants for her son. I will give that to him, no matter what it takes.

It seems unreal to say, but I don’t feel like I ever have enough time with my kids during the day. They are so precious, and Fridays are the days that my class always goes back and forth about how we will miss each other so much over the weekend. One of my students raised their hand and said “I don’t want to go home, I want to stay with you.” Another one raised his hand and said “Miss Abney, we are so lucky. We only have 2 days of no school and we get to come right back to school.” I love those little moments, because my goal was to make our classroom safe and our classmates family. Like I posted on my door, I want them to “Travel the world, but always come home to room 115.”

My student was having an off day the other day and I pushed him to try harder. After a few reminders, I asked him what was wrong. He wasn’t on his game and we both knew it. He looked at me and told me his mom was in jail, with a long story to accompany it. In that moment, I knew that there was so much on his mind and he impressed me with every word he said. I knew he was hurting, and as much as I wanted to sit and talk with him for hours, I knew I couldn’t lower the expectation for him, because it wouldn’t be fair. I let him know that I care about him so much, and that I am willing to get him anything he needs, from a hug, to dinner, to a toothbrush. His smile told me that he is going to be okay- how can a six year old be so strong? Inspiring.

Now I know that I have bored you with these stories that are always running through my mind, so I will leave you with a smile or two.

There have been many times in room 115 that Miss Abney has to just look and laugh at what is going on. The first one happened to be when I was alone, doing my daily after school cleaning. When I was by my little girl’s desk, I bend down to pick up some trash- they can be so messy! When I bent down a little closer, I just laugh when I see a little tooth lying on my floor. We lose teeth about every day, and boy is it a celebration, but I wasn’t expecting to find some stragglers on my floor. Welcome to first grade.

As if that didn’t make me smile, a few days later my little boy with a dangerous mo-hawk went to his bag to grab a pencil. He was really quiet and the rest of the class was going about their business. When my eye caught him, I lost it. My little boy whipped out a McDonalds cheeseburger from his book bag and decided to have a personal snack break at the back of the room. I couldn’t help but just laugh. They are so creative and so hilarious; every second with them is full of life.

Right now I am on an airplane taking a much needed relaxing break to Denver. I am so excited to be there. I would be lying if I said there weren’t a few butterflies in my stomach. Even though I will be away from my first grade wonders for a few days, I know they will all be on my mind every second.

All my love from 39,000 feet above,

Jacey xxo